June 6, 2008

Highlights of the Day

  1. Woke up - hated every second of it. Barely got out of bed. Ugh.
  2. Ate too much for lunch
  3. Threw up my lunch
  4. sadly, my toothbrush fell on the floor of the ladies room at work so I couldn’t brush my teeth after stomach evacuation. Gross.
  5. Leave work. Have a smoke.
  6. Make a giant BLT for a snack when I get home. Realize I have a problem with compulsive eating
  7. Throw up again.
  8. Cook a huge dinner - but avoid eating it.
  9. Smoke.
  10. See movie - love movie.
  11. Feel less bad about my life after seeing the dregs of humanity that go to the movies. Yeesh.
  12. Contemplate calling my dealer. Then, I remembered that his supply has gone from the best in the city, to middle of the road, to baking soda and baby laxative. Fuck it.
I need to buy a new vibrator tomorrow. 
My life is exciting.

It’s hard to be depressed when you realize that incredibly stupid people seem to get by just fine, so perhaps you should just chill the fuck out.

June 5, 2008

Would it be so hard….

… to actually express some affection? 

I mean, I’m a human being. Please treat me as one.

This whole lack of self esteem issue I’ve got going on would really be improved if I actually felt like someone wanted me around. 

Hugs don’t take that much time, ya know?

June 4, 2008

I might be depressed, but thank god I’m not:

1) “EMO”

2) a kid

It’s amazing how many men are willing to buy used panties over the internet. Thank god for Craigslist

Need a Financial Makeover?

WE are an established International Escort Agency who has immediate professional escort positions available. Easily make $2000-3000 per week plus keep 100% of your tips. WE have an established, elite and generous clientle who are want new fresh faces. We will work with your schedule and part time is available. NO experience? No problem! Want to travel or relocate? We provide professional support and established clientle locally, nationally and internationally 

If interested, please respond with your name, phone, & email along with a recent photo. Responses without contact information and/or photo will not receive a response 

- Craigslist

Seriously - the title of their post is:


Sometimes I see little kids wandering around with their parents; they’re always crowding the local coffee shops and malls and such.

When I see a happy little kid, all I can think is, “Man, I’m so sorry for the shit you are about to endure. We’ve fucked this all up for you. Good luck, kid. I hope your generation makes it.”

Children depress me.

Oh, for God’s sake… get a life, will you?
William Shatner

Eccentricities in Logic

  1. I think about death all the time. I mean, my life isn’t all that bad - but I can’t seem to summon any enthusiasm for my future. Mostly, I want to take out a large insurance policy so that when I do muster up the balls to off myself, my family will be taken care of.
  2. I’m used to living by myself, but now that I’m living with other people, I’ve never felt more alone. I could handle sadness and loneliness when I was by myself, but with other people around? It’s worse, somehow.
  3. Seriously, I’ve been considering becoming an escort. I figure, I already hate myself enough to plan on saying, “FUCK IT” and opting out - why not add more self-loathing to the mix? Besides, I’m sick of being broke all the time. Women have sex with random guys sometimes - and most “randoms” are awful. Why not earn money right alongside your shame? 
  4. When you realize you feel worse about yourself now than when you were a teenager, you’ve got a fucking problem. How in the fuck did I turn into this? 
  5. Being smart is harmful to your mental health. Seriously, stupid people always seem way happier.